Don’t sweat the small stuff: A life’s lesson worth remembering

There is a bit of good stuff that gets printed in the news or spread through cyber space on social media. There is a lot more undiluted crap that gets propagated via those ubiquitous means. Thank goodness, we can ignore most of it.

However, some time ago, on a farming forum, a comment was posted that settled in my mind like a seed into welcoming soil in the springtime.

The actual topic of that particular discussion has faded into deserved oblivion. Yet the absolute validity and weight of that one pertinent comment remains, fresh as a climbing sprout after a warm spring shower.

A young farming woman was speaking in response to a garrulous chap with an irrefutable reputation for destructive negativity. Following one of his characteristic, juvenile outbursts, she said: “While many people want to be memorable, is that something you’d want to be remembered for? Being the negative one.” It could have been read as a question, or as a statement.

That simple phrase came to mind again recently, maybe because it was a grey, drizzly day. Maybe it was because it was one of those days where most jobs I attempted went downhill, the old aches impeded movement and I felt like “I should’na got outta bed.” But that line popped into my head even though I first read it some years before because it addressed the biggest problem I faced — a negative mood.

“…is that something you’d want to be remembered for?”

Such a classic lesson, one that should be started before the wee’uns outgrow the highchair.

It rates up there with another line that a long-time-ago boss spoke to me when I took a gnarly grievance to him at the sawmill where I cut timber.

Bill Craig listened patiently to my rant until I had run out of steam. Looking at me thoughtfully, he offered a few brief words that left an immeasurable impact immediately, and then over the four decades since he spoke them. His short answer was:
“John, we’ve overcome bigger obstacles than this.”

The effect of those few words on the angst in my mind was like the collapse of taut sails suddenly abandoned by the wind. Suddenly, the perceived, over-blown problem was shrunk to a much smaller space, having been gently levered into a proper perspective by the wise and simple voice of seasoned experience.

Bill’s calming words were also like that seed finding a home in a ready seedbed. It’s a line that I have employed — or some variant thereof — numerous times over in the decades since Bill spoke it. It’s a line that has grown to perennial fruiting for many seasons.

Sometimes it’s at the checkout when the cashier makes an error and with an eye on the waiting lineup, berates herself; all that needs saying is something like “Hey, if that’s the biggest problem we have all day, aren’t we lucky?”

The effect is invariably profound — a moment of cognition, eyes meet. The atmosphere changes. She will smile or laugh and welcome acceptance often demonstrated with a heart-felt, “That is so true! Thank you!”

Wherever it happens, it always lightens the mood or situation. As it did that dismal day when I had to tell myself that same thing several times.

So now I have gleaned from others two memorable phrases of profound sagacity — “We’ve overcome bigger problems than this,” and, “Is that how you’d want to be remembered?” On a personal level, when I think to heed those words in a heated, hasty moment, the effect becomes real, the stress of the moment shunted away by a healthier perspective. And in a situation where someone else is being the jerk, employing one of those lines invariably moves the speaker to self-reflect … any solution will then spring from within rather than being imposed by an outside voice onto an unwilling, blustering recipient.

The “commemorative” comment was offered by someone who is much, much younger than I am, yet it showed immense gravitas. It gave a sense that a young, competent mind like that has much to offer, if I’m willing to hear it.

So at the end of a day that needed something positive and uplifting, I tipped my hat with gratitude to Bill and also that insightful young woman for offering a significant, life lesson. They will be remembered for bringing to the world something worth remembering.

John Schwartzentruber is a Huron County farmer.